“When Self-Care Becomes Avoidance: How to Recognize the Difference”
When Self-Care Becomes Avoidance — How Somatic Therapy Can Help
The Global Wellness/Self-Care market is a multi-TRILLION dollar industry.
The term, “self-care” has become a buzz term that is now used to describe almost anything we engage in to “care for ourselves,” — stressed? Write in a journal. Stuck in fight or flight? Lift weights. Feeling anxious? Take a long walk. All of these self-care tools can in fact be restorative and healthy, but what if they are also misunderstood? What if, instead of helping us to learn how to cope with our experiences, our self-care strategies have become a quick fix to eliminate discomfort?
What if what we believe to be self-care is actually a coping strategy we use to avoid our emotions?
Many of us think we’re practicing self-care, but sometimes what feels restorative is actually a way to avoid our emotions. We might be keeping busy, exercising, journaling, or cleaning, thinking we’re nurturing ourselves — when in reality, we’re temporarily escaping uncomfortable feelings. Understanding the distinction between genuine healing and avoidance is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being. Somatic therapy offers a gentle way to build capacity to feel and process emotions safely, without bypassing them.
The Difference Between Self-Care and Avoidance
Self-care is meant to support, restore, and nurture us. Avoidance, on the other hand, temporarily eases discomfort without addressing the underlying emotion. Signs that self-care might be serving as avoidance include:
Feeling temporarily relieved, but the anxiety or stress returns quickly.
Constantly staying “busy” with self-care routines or tasks.
Using activities to distract from rather than process emotions.
The strategy is used to combat the thought that we are “not enough,” “lazy,” “unproductive,” or “too much.”
Recognizing the difference is the first step toward shifting from coping to healing.
Common Practices That Can Become Avoidance
Even well-intentioned self-care practices can act as avoidance strategies when they keep us from feeling what’s inside:
Journaling or reflection without integration: Writing about feelings is helpful, but if we never allow ourselves to truly feel those emotions, journaling can become a bypass.
Exercise: Physical activity supports health and stress relief, but if it’s used to “burn off” difficult feelings, it may mask emotional processing.
Cleaning and organizing: Keeping a tidy environment can create control and calm, but when it’s a substitute for facing emotions, it becomes avoidance.
Walking or time in nature: Grounding and mindful, yes — but if it’s consistently used to escape emotions, it serves as coping rather than healing.
Other distractions: Social media scrolling, binge-watching shows, or over-scheduling can all temporarily numb discomfort.
Understanding how these practices can both help and hinder is key to using them intentionally.
How Somatic Therapy Supports True Emotional Healing
Somatic therapy works with the body to help us safely feel and release emotions. Instead of bypassing uncomfortable feelings, it builds nervous system capacity and emotional resilience. Practices may include grounding exercises, breathwork, mindful movement, or gentle touch awareness — all aimed at allowing emotions to arise, be acknowledged, and safely pass.
By tuning into the body, we can notice subtle signals of tension, anxiety, or grief before they become overwhelming. This approach transforms self-care from a coping mechanism into a practice of true healing.
Tips for Shifting from Coping to Healing
Pause before self-care: Check your intention — is this activity helping you feel or helping you avoid?
Blend self-care with somatic awareness: For example, journaling while noticing bodily sensations or emotions.
Start small: When you feel an overwhelming emotion, slow down, plant your feet and scan your environment.
Practice self-compassion: Feeling emotions is safe. Allowing yourself to experience them without judgment is a vital part of healing.
Seek support: If processing and feeling your emotions feels too overwhelming or you worry if you feel your feelings, you won’t know how to stop, seeking out a skilled somatic therapist can help you begin the work safely.
By integrating awareness into your self-care routine, you turn previously avoidant behaviors into opportunities for growth and resilience.
Conclusion
Self-care is not the problem — when we are intentional in our self-care, peace is possible. When we become aware of how certain practices may serve as avoidance, we can make subtle shifts toward true emotional healing. Somatic therapy offers guidance and tools to build capacity, regulate emotions, and reclaim self-care as a restorative, not avoidant, practice.
Ready to explore how somatic therapy can help you move from coping to healing? Book a free 15-min consultation today.